Yesterday I pooped and it came out like a question mark, like it was asking “What did you eat?
Yesterday I pooped and it came out like a question mark, like it was asking “What did you eat?
| Katchina: | I wonder if people are going to riot tomorrow for May Day. |
|---|---|
| Me: | May Day is in May. |
| Katchina: | May, March. They both start with the same letter. |
| *Tracey drives by* | |
| Katchina: | Oh my God is that Katelyn? |
| Me: | No, that's Tracey. |
| Katchina: | Goddamnit! |
| Me: | It's ok. It's all the same. |
I’m out getting pizza, and this douchebag brushed by me without saying sorry, so I followed him back to his table, looked him in the eye, farted, and then walked away.
| Nicole: | I'm in the E.R. I hope the Free Care service backpays for this shit. |
|---|---|
| Lindsay: | You could have a "I'm off my meds fuckers" freak out on them. |
| Nicole: | Start peeing in the water fountain and eating the pamphlets. |
| Lindsay: | Or peeing on the pamphlets and eating the water fountain. |
I have my keffiyeh, my lesbian reading glasses, and my Sierra Nevada autumn ale called Tumbler. Am I cool yet?
That is the best thong I’ve ever heard.
When I quit Knott’s, I walked through the midway in costume swearing at the top of my lungs. My friend was like “Oh my god. Stop. You can’t do that,” and I was all, “What, are they going to fucking fire me? I don’t think so.
Fred and Yaeko have me an opal necklace, then Yaeko said “a thousand thank yous” and then they both did the super deep bow. All the creys.
I’m pretty sure there were origami cranes and myth dragons flying around at the time
My shift is over, I just pooped, and I have a three day weekend.
